Need To Reboot ! Help!

I'm deciding on a career change. Almost 4 years here in this current company. I wondered if I had been promoted already in another company after serving for 4 years. Yes, I have achieved that seniority among my peers, they do look to me for guidance when they 'really' have to :P

But, with all the experience, knowledge and networks, I still feel empty. I come to work and go home like a robot nowadays. Nobody understands this feeling. I don't feel I've achieved anything. For the sake of my fat paycheck I get every month, I don't get the satisfaction of working. It's not exactly the kind of feeling where you'd look forward to go to work the next day. My current motivation to stay here and rot myself is purely based on $$$. I know during these times, no company would want to pay me this much except here.

I wanna get out. Out of this rotting political circus. Butt kissers and actors fill up most of the upper tier of management. Incompetency is common among them. Like scavengers, they prey on the slightest mistake by their underlings and capitalizes it to catapult their existence. And like a Smartshop ad, they give you empty promises. I wish somebody out there understands. I'm 26 with so much time ahead of me. I want it to be filled with creativity, imagination, satisfaction and something you can call your own.

It's like playing defensive , boring football despite winning consistently. Sometimes, it dampens your creative playmaker's development in the team. He needs to roam free and do his own branding and authority. I have this feeling that I can achieve so much and my career life would be so much more fulfilling if I leave here now.

Come on, 4 years man. To question my loyalty would be unthinkable.

I want to quit , seriously.

Of being grateful

Have we been grateful enough? I've come across some columns mentioning about the art of being grateful. A particular Dr has prescribed someone with a bad history of depression, think about one thing good in his life that he is grateful for every night before he sleeps and wakes up. It does not matter if it is big or small. And the result was extraordinary.

I think it is a human thing to always want more and when things do not go as planned, you can't help anger to rear its ugly head. I speak from a personal account as well on this. Sometimes I do get frustrated over certain plans I have conjured up in my head that did not materialize. Coupled with external pressures, sometimes as a man I just have to swallow it.

Are rich people grateful? I envy those who were born in a well to do family. What are the things they worry about? Do they worry about bills ? or savings? I don't think so. And they tend to get richer. Those who were given this stable 'template' of living by God should really be grateful. I mean I know a person who comes from a rich family. But sadly, he does not work like us, all he does is upgrading his car, his place and at the end of the month just collects rents from the few properties he has been given by his father. What a life. He has things which I can only dream of having. How I wish all that money I could invest it in a way that would be beneficial for my future. How I wish I could give the best life to people around me.

This is maybe heavy to talk about. Sometimes you have planned for 'A' all your life, but somehow you're being shoved to a different plan, different direction altogether like 'X' or 'Z'. At one time, you feel helpless, not knowing what to do. Bad circumstances swallowing you like quicksand, you wonder and look up to the sky looking for answers to your questions - racing through your head as you sink into the quicksand. 'Could things have been different?' I asked.

As the quicksand sinks you in, there you are, hoping a divine intervention to pick you up and bring you back on a steady platform to continue living.

Gratitude keeps people grounded. Knowing what we have and what we don't helps us survive. My mom has always said 'don't compare yourself with those who are doing much better than you, compare yourself to those who are far worse than you, you will see that God is not so mean to you after all'.

I guess so.

Al-Fatihah

I would like to offer my condolences to the late Yasmin Ahmad's family. I offer you my Al-Fatihah ma'am. I think you are a true genius. Nobody makes movies reflecting Malaysia's racial harmony better than you here. Nobody had those guts. Many failed to show it, the best they can come up with were those typical Ali, Ah Tan and Raju lame dialogues. You were different and I really respect what you have done in your films. Your movie gave me hope. Though we have never crossed paths, your work has really touched a lot of people including myself. May Allah S.W.T bless your soul and places you among all the enlightened ones.

Amin.

Smile




Smile
tho’
your heart is aching,
Smile
Even though it’s breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky- You’ll get by,
If you
Smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through- For you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness,
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That’s the time you must keep on trying,
Smile- What’s the use of crying,
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.

Very touching lyrics. Especially from Chaplin . Very unlike his bubbly clumsy self. What lies beneath is something much more deep and defines the person's psyche. Kinda like Van Gogh's paintings. I hope God reserves a special place for these guys, I feel your struggles man. Hitler was extreme but his journey was extraordinary.

Today's is a day I salute to all the complex characters that have walked this earth. At least they left a profound mark in the world. I wonder what kinda mark I would leave before I go ..

REMPIT !!!!!!

Mother$%^&* rempit rammed my Persona and while attempting to escape, ended up pulling more than half of the front bumpers out. The coward RAN AWAY. I bet he doesn't have license and the fact that he overtook a double line and rammed me while I was in a yellow box zone would clearly make me the obvious winner in court.

I had to cross the middle of the road just to get back my front bumpers. My hatred towards the Rempits have gone up a few notches after this incident. Estimated cost for repairs : RM400-500 , change new bumpers + paint job + workmaship.

Mann, that money would get me all the volumes for Thy Kingdom Come or All Hail Megatron. Sigh.

P/s : If Martin Skrtel met an accident, the cars itself would apologize to him. IT would dent itself further as a punishment.

The Skrtel Joke

I think they made jokes over this guy coz' he looks so damn tough.



Courtesy of liverpoolway.com forums:

They make a Martin Skrtel toilet paper, but it wont take s.hit from anybody.

Martin Skrtel always has s.ex on the first date. Always.

Martin Skrtel has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Skrtel never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Skrtel”.

Martin Skrtel can p.iss into gale force winds.

Martin Skrtel is the ONLY survivor from the Big Bang!

Martin Skrtel was the cause of the big bang.

When Martin Skrtel has s.ex with men, it is not because he is g.ay, but because he has ran out of women.

Martin Skrtel uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Martin Skrtel only m.asturbates to pictures of Martin Skrtel.

Martin Skrtel was the first man to take a dump on the moon

Martin Skrtel CAN get breakfast in McDonalds after 10.30!

Martin Skrtel can kill two stones with one bird.

If you can see Martin Skrtel, he can see you. If you can't see Martin Skrtel you may be only seconds away from death.

Martin Skrtel does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Martin Skrtel goes killing.

Martin Skrtel has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

Martin Skrtel ordered a Big Mac at KFC and gets it!

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Martin Skrtel. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

If Martin Skrtel is late, time better slow the f.uck down.

There is no such thing as a l.esbian, there are just girls who have never met Martin Skrtel.

God said "Let there be light", Martin Skrtel said "Say please".

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Martin Skrtel allows to live.

I heard Superman wears "Martin Skrtel" pajamas...

Martin Skrtel once bit a photographer... he is now known as Peter Parker aka Spiderman

Martin Skrtel lost his virginity before his dad.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Skrtel says its beef, then it's bloody-well beef.

A lighthouse was used in Martin Skrtel's candle light dinner!

Martin Skrtel has had s.ex with everyones mum.

Once Martin Skrtel tested a pair of boot, he said he can't even put Nike on those boot, that's how Umbro was born!

Martin Skrtel never think twice... he doesn't even need to think once!

Martin Skrtel was the first entry in the doomsday book

Martin Skrtel does not catch diseases, he spreads em

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Martin Skrtel to die before they attack....which is NEVER

The Mohs Scale has had to be rescaled to accomodate the hardness of Skrtel..........

Martin Skrtel...Once won a Connect 4 game in 3 moves.

Skrtel can speak Braille

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are *****roaches and Martin Skrtel

the bermuda triangle used to be the bermuda square, until martin skrtel slide tackled one of the corners off.

martel skrtel slide tackled the periodic table - he only believes in the element of surprise.

martin skrtel died 10 years ago, but the grim reaper still doesn't have the courage to go and tell him.

If you have five dollars and Martin Skrtel has five dollars, Martin Skrtel has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Martin Skrtel's computer. Martin Skrtel is always in control.

Apple pays Martin Skrtel 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Martin Skrtel can sneeze with his eyes open.

Martin Skrtel can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Martin Skrtel is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Martin Skrtel doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Martin Skrtel.

Martin Skrtel does not sleep. He waits.

Martin Skrtel is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Martin Skrtel is the reason why Wally is hiding.

When Martin Skrtel does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Martin Skrtel is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Martin Skrtel’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Martin Skrtel doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Martin Skrtel can slam a revolving door.

P/s: Don't worry Martin, we still respect you in LFC. Keep doing a good colossal job for us . YNWA.

Bay-Hem !

Ok, I've seen it. Yeah I'm talking about Revenge of the Fallen. Didn't like it apart from the action sequences.

Potong steam list:- (spoiler alert)

1) The Humour
No, its not a name of a character or anything. Well you could imagine there is a far more elusive, more sinister evil than the Fallen. The difference is that unlike the Fallen; who f#$% things up for the Autobots, the Humour; on the other hand, f%^& the whole movie up. I'm talking about overbearing jokes which are stale and unnecessary to move the plot forward. Well I don't know about some people, if watching a pair of giant robot testicles are fun or a grown ass man stripping bare showing his buttocks is funny, then I have nothing to say.

2) The Twins
During the initial revelation about these two 'mistakes', I already had a bad feeling about it. Creating a new character which was not from the mythology is a huge thing. How dissappointed I was to see these two annoying robots materialize on screen. Bay said he did it for the kids. But with all due respect Mr. Bay, isn't all those giant robots enough to make any kid go crazy already? they don't need a mini segment of robots catered for them. You think this is McDonalds? Happy Meals? It didn't help with the wrong voice actors, depicting them, like a bunch of black teenager cum gangsta-wannabe. And these two kicked Devastators' ass? INSULT.

3) The Legendary Jetfire
How could they make a 180degree turn on this fan favourite's character and attitude? The Blackbird form got me excited. And it all went down the drain when he transformed into robot mode. Since when does Cybertron have OKU (Orang Kurang Upaya) ? they're robots!! With all their technological advancements, the best aid they can have for an 'old' robot is a walking stick? to add insult to injury, he farts too !! WOW Bay , WOW.

4) Cut and Paste Constructicons
Now this is just low man. I don't know if this was a budget issue or anything, but if you're gonna recycle the bad guys, don't use the same colour at least please. You can't have them combine and then in the next scene they're on the ground fighting the military. I mean come on Mr. Bay, you're better than this. I just cannot believe with all the time, money and film they spent on rehearsing those buttocks scene and the The Twins scene, they couldn't manage to do some decent editing on this part. Even as I put myself in a normal moviegoer's shoes, I feel that it insults my intelligence.

5) THE RAILGUN
Ok, where the hell did that come from? If a single shot is all it takes to kill Devastator, might as well ask all the Autobots to sit tight and just chill with some energon cocktail in their hands , watch the RAILGUN kill all the Decepticons!! OOOHH U.S Military is so damn cool ... WHY? WHY?

6) Soundwave
Everything else was cool about him and the writers did a good job on this one, making him a spy and intelligence person for the bad guys. But can't they at least pay homage to the fans and give him that 'voice' we've been waiting years to hear? At least synthesize it a bit. I could still tolerate the mouth if they gave that 'voice'.

I would have loved the movie more if the issues above were addressed. I will still buy the DVD for nostalgia sake. Probably would just forward the scene right up to the forrest showdown and the last scene. The middle portion of the scene would just make this grown up guy get angry again.

Holy crap, a RAIL GUN??? Seriously Bay?

I'm watching Giant F-ing Robots !!



23rd June 2145hrs, the revenge comes in full circle..one shall stand, one shall fall..

'Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing ..'

Singles Ad

Hi

My owners call me 'Fluffy' ; yes, I know what you're thinking.. a very feminine name for such an alpha male like me. I wonder why they decided to baptize me with the name. They say I look like a giant ball of cotton, so its fluffy looking. Such human perception never cease to amaze me. I was 1 when they took me in:-

You see, I'm 3 now and I have a tiny bit of a problem; I'm not seeing any females. I'm er.. kinda feeling lonely and haven't got 'lucky' yet if you know what I mean ;) . Nothing wrong with me though, they just don't want to get me a hot little bunny just because my bachelor pad is too small and upgrading it would cost a bomb :-

And not like there is not enough food or anything, I mean they change my diapers, feed me with good food twice a day and send me for regular checkups every 2 months. And the doctor said I'm healthy .. coz' I manage my weight well , yeah I do some workouts you know.. here and there. So there is perfectly nothing wrong with me. Why am I single ?? What's not to like about me?

I mean look at me below, this look never cease to appeal to the female humans :-

I do go out sometimes, my owners let me have some 'me' time in the living room:-

So here I am. Hoping this singles ad would let the other bunnies know what they're missing. Not exactly my 1st choice to look for a mate, but the humans seem to do it this way too... so I figured why not right.

So summary :

3yr old alpha male rabbit, seeking companionship with similar aged females. And the name's Fluffy. You can contact my owner, he's kinda like my agent on this thing. C ya !

Perspektif Kita

I missed dropping by this little lounge. I used to have plenty of things to write about. Plenty of things to post. I can't really say it's a writer's block, coz' I never really got it going anyways. New developments here and there. Oh, remember I keep making fun of my increments? Damn they really rewarded me this time. I'm getting a stable income now - way beyond my little, almost non-existent hope and expectation for a salary adjustment. Alhamdullillah.

Yet, somehow, the more you earn, the higher your standards of living and your purchasing powers are. You just don't go to Mamaks anymore for a simple meal. No more shopping for bargain sales at a dodgy shopping store. Hey, who wants to go holiday within Malaysia only? takder class la . Go abroad la . Go once? takder class . Go 5 times in a year la..

Luxury gets attracted to the more money you have. Temptations are hard to ignore. I received an e-mail which tells the story of Mr. Warren Buffet, arguably one of the richest human beings on earth who donated billions of his fortune to charity.

Yeah.. I know what you're thinking.. What the hell right? you'd wish you could meet him and just ask for a million bucks to start a new life. Well the e-mail mentioned how down-to-earth and humble this guy is. He doesn't live in a mansion like most rappers and celebrity sportsmen, just a simple house with his wife. No bodyguards , no drivers. His reason ? that house has everything he needs to live. Don't spend on unnecessary things. There are few more things about him that really made me have a tremendous respect for. Maybe if I'm 'inspired' enough to post , I will soon.

But come to think again right, would we be happier if we just maintained our medium-class lives while earning high-class pays? would it hurt so much not to spend on trivial things like a 'trip'? Will I scare people away from being friends with me if I just drive a Proton instead of a BMW or any car that is RM80K above? Does it mean I'm poor if I don't own a property yet or have a small property like a cheap condominium?

Will it kill me if I don't change my wardrobe every month? Will I die from starvation if I don't eat a RM50 above meal? Will I not stay awake from drinking a coffee from a Mamak instead of Starbucks? Has it really happened that people will laugh at you if you wear a Bata instead of Hush Puppies? Can I still bring people around and go from A to B with my old Kembara? Of course I can.

Can I still make a call to my loved ones using a RM200 mono colour phone or from an old skool Nokia 3310? yes. Will the reception be any different if I call from an IPhone? I beg to differ.

A lot of people forget the basic things. You want a house? whats the basic criteria? a car? what's its basic purpose?

Don't you think you will be able to save more or use the extra money for other better things while you maintain your life standards as it is? I feel that we should not be adjusting our life based on our salary, its how we adjust our salary to our current life. Is there like a subliminal message that tells you 'every weekend we must buy something' ? are we humans being subliminally brain washed?

I feel that I am reaching a point of my life that I have to shut myself out from external elements when deciding what is best for me. How on earth would people know what is best for my life when the person actually living it is me? What makes that person so eligible or qualified enough to advise me what I should be doing when his/her life is nothing to shout about as well?

Dear readers, there will be people who will try to decide for you on every single aspect. How do you break free? how can you stand up and say 'hey! this is my life. I decide !' .

What is needed in a relationship? 5 star hotels,food. Fast cars? monthly shopping? whatever happened to chivalry and simple things like saying 'I love you' ?

This has left me with more questions rather answers. Why are we not focussing on the basics?

A fisherman's tale

A boy notices a young fisherman every morning by the sea buying a new set of ropes to tie up his beautiful boat. He would continue this over and over again.

Boy: Mr. fisherman sir, why do you always spend money to buy new ropes for your boat ?

Fisherman: I'm scared the ropes will loose its strength and make my boat float away. Or worse somebody else might take it away from me .. I work very hard every day just to buy these new ropes. I hope I can afford to buy a steel anchor for it one day, so that it won't go away. The sea can be calm and can also be violent young man.. you must always hold on to something you hold dear to yourself no matter what ...

And the cycle goes on day by day.....

All created equal ? You gotta be kidding me ..

If we are all created equal , humans are created with feelings and are able to feel sensations and pain, do us men been given the same privileges too?

Are we allowed to feel pain and all the different ranges of emotions like our opposite sex ? Can we feel sad ? angry ? happy ?

If you're faced with something that was really hurtful, are we only allowed to swallow it like a pill and not show any reaction ? Is that how a man supposed to behave?

If the answer is Yes, then I'd say us men are not completely human and must not be human at all. Its like you're given a special privilege but you are not allowed to use it.

Still water runs deep. Sometimes the universe forgets that us men were created to have feelings too. I guess now we know why there are a lot of psychos out there.. suppressed emotions.

Word of Mouth

My sister has a blog ! Yes ! I have been paid handsomely to promote this and I need to do this to stop the constant plea of getting people to flood her new found hobby.

Hehe .

Click here to check it out. I'm surprised she could write , not being biased or anything. She was never the 'literary-poetic' type. I've never seen her write before.

What I'm proud of is that she learned how to blog and insert all the pictures herself . I was like 'wow' . Not bad for someone who at one time did not know what the hell Internet and those 'dot com dot my' are hehehe..

Turbulence

It's been a month since my last post. Quite turbulent 1 month hiatus, to be honest. From the highs of going snorkeling for the first time in my life in open sea (I can't swim that well fyi) , to the pressure cooker feel of having a close family member admitted and right down to the low of a mistake that should not have been committed.

Life is , about ups and downs. Amazing how God balances the books on your life. He's an exceptional book keeper. They say a measure of a man is defined by how he bounces back from adversity. I'm finding my trampoline to jump up again. I could make an auto biography. It could sell. But I think there is still a lot to be happy about. If you compare with the 'lesser' ones, life is not so bad after all.

At least you're not 60 and still working daily to get money just to buy food for the day. Yes I've seen it. At least I'm still earning my salary and getting increments (even though its just like a Ngan Yin peanut in proportion! ) and still able to buy and eat things I want. Sure you don't want to get caught up in the comfort zone, hence the pursuit of making more money for your future. I have a lot of real life sessions to learn from personal experiences.

Nothing is what it appears to be, you can be a hero one day and can be rubbish in the next. You're only as good as how you perform in that very 'moment'.

Surviving this turbulence, surviving ... hoping for clear blue skies in the weather report ..

Excerpt from Jack Canfield's book :

'What Others Think About You Is None Of Your Business

If having others believing in you and your dream was a requirement for success, most of us would never accomplish anything. You need to base your decisions about what YOU want to do on YOUR goals and desires- not the goals,desires,opinions and judgements of your parents, friends, spouse, children and coworkers. Quit worrying what other people think about you and follow your heart.

I like Dr. Daniel Amen's 18/40/60 Rule : When you're 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you, when you're 40, you don't give a darn what anybody thinks of you ; when you're 60, you realize nobody's been thinking of you at all.

Surprise surprise! Nobody's been thinking about you at all! They are too busy worrying about their own lives, and if they are thinking about you at all, they are wondering what you are thinking about them. People think about themselves , not you.

All those times worrying could have been spent on thinking about and doing things that will achieve your goals.'

God I love this book . I've always wondered our motivations in making decisions in life right up til' now, was it really what we want ? or were we nudged into deciding it?

In a way, I felt I was nudged into taking IT during my diploma years. Well back then it was a new booming thing, any parent would want their kids to get their hands into 'computers' . To them, it looked like the job that offers the most stability, can't fault them into thinking that. Would I have been better and excelled in a different field ? as opposed to IT where I hated programming with a passion? I hated being the 'sleeping member' when all the heavy programming work were passed down to this geeky dude who embraces new coding projects ecstatically like as if he's seen Jessica Alba in real life? I guess the key to it all is passion. My geeky friend excelled in programming because he had a passion (almost on a scary level) to solve and write codes. Passion is a good thing to have in life, it gives us focus and we often excel doing what we love.

Hmm... subconcious psychosis... do i love the job that I'm doing ? hmm..

:)



How big a difference it makes on such a dark surface.

Happy Valentines Day Ms. Purple .

26

The number 26 filled me with pride but at the same time fills me with caution. To put it in really street slang " You better get your shit together and think about whatcha wanna do my brother ".

So true.

To Allah S.W.T :

Thank You for letting me live another day. I know I don't deserve to be asking so much , since my prayers have not been consistent as hoped. Please protect me, my family, my sayang and my friends from harm and do bless them the way You have blessed me. Thanks for giving me what I have today. I will never forget You wherever I go. I hope things are so far-so good between us and long may it continue. I owe You big time!

To my Sayang:



Thank You. For everything. I love you and I am happy to have 'found' you :) . Like I said before, back then there was no colors, now there is thanks to you. Thank you.

To my Family:

Mom & Dad - You made me what I am today and I still carry traits from both of you. Though I really wish I inherit Mom's 'garang-ness' ; it'll greatly help me in my profession right now. I'm too patient like Dad. Thank you for the wish and the $$ hehe . I love you both.

Siblings - Bro, you owe me a present man. Sis, thank you for the book . I'm sure it'll help me soon enough ; "25 Principles of Success to get you from where you Are, to where you want to Be" . I think I pretty much got a rough idea, all will be revealed in time ;) . Thank you both of you.

Bro-In-Law - Thanks for the lovely dinner. Would love to have one of your watches someday hehe

The kids / my sidekicks - Thank you for giving me a smile everytime I come back from the stresses of work. The stories of your 'mis-adventures' at school does provide me with a great escape from $$ issues :) .

To My Friends:

To me, part of my life will not be complete without friends. We need friends. Thank you for the wishes. To remember my birthday is a gift in itself already. To those who wished me, you know who you ae.

My karaoke crew - Arman, Shai and Zharif ; That was some good shit guys. I don't believe we would ever sing certain songs that we picked and sing it to public man haha! What happens in the room 35 stays in room 35 hehe

2009 Here I Come !

I Wish

That all the other countries with military power such the Germans, Russia, China, North Korea etc.. would just hang out together one day and just say "To hell with the UN, its like almost nothing has been done to stop the atrocities in Gaza, fellas , how bout we just bloody go there and chase out these F%^&* Zionists !"

Israel is not so big. How can this small country rule America ? Shame on you Arab nations, don't let greed blind you from helping out a fellow Arab neighbor , aren't we all on the same boat?

The problem now is that nobody is standing up to fight against this Sinyu-Giant bully combination (taken from Doraemon characters). To those who feel that only Muslims are making such a big fuss about Gaza then think again. Go to YouTube and you will see even fellow Americans and Israelis are protesting this war. Maybe its hurts us Muslims more, but imagine this : Let's just take religion away from the picture. Imagine Malaysia for instance. One of our 'negeris' let's say Pahang, gets occupied by a military regime and starts chasing out the people there and suddenly announces it as a new country. Wouldn't you be angry ? On top of that, it has the backing of the biggest superpower in the world. How do you fight that? And this has been going on for ages. Women and children are mercilessly killed by the hour. But the Western media are only showing us our people throwing rocks at them , but didn't show our buildings being bombed, suppplies blocked, etc...

People, I know these are bad times economically. All you can think of is probably money. Money minded folks probably couldn't care less. But please stop and imagine if this is happening in Malaysia. Wouldn't you wish that people from other countries would hear your cries and sufferings?

All the killings to satisfy who?

Maybe in the international stage, peace is just a word. There is no such thing as peace. If every country wants peace, all this would never have happened.

Take a read here -> here . Then you will know what I mean.

P.M.S

Performance Management System - that's what it means. But it can also mean the PMS girls go through. I see a similar behavioral pattern between what my co-workers feel and what girls generally feel during PMS : Cranky.

In the place where I work, PMS sessions can either make you really happy or really unhappy. PMS sessions can make or break you. They can be your sole hope to get a good salary increment. During the PMS month (usually done in June and December) , you will notice that everyone gets a boost and their performance at work improve exponentially. To please 'the-powers-that-be' and also 'the-not-so-powerful-has-been' of course. And the result of it, well ... hehe ... let's just say, the word 'flabbergasted' is an understatement. Imagine a seasoned guy who's been there for ages gets a lower performance percentile compared to a fresh-faced graduate who just joined the department for about a year. I was advised not to disclose my percentile with the old and new . Reason? to avoid demoralization.

Well personally I feel that anyone would feel demoralized if the newbie that is under his tutelage suddenly gets a higher percentile than him/her. Come on, think about it, its like Mr.Miyagi losing to that wimpy karate kid in a death match man!

We are given forms to fill up and rate ourselves. And these self-ratings will be discussed in a board of superiors. Then they give out the final rating of their own. And when the session starts, this is when they try to convince you to accept the lower percentile that they have given you. Well its my 3rd year now with this whole thing. This year I don't really want to start a fight so I just accept it. Luckily for me there was an improvement in my percentile compared to last year. According to them, I was considered one of those who are in the 'top bracket' . Ok what.

My heart goes to those who didn't get the mark they deserve. Sometimes I don't know what exactly does the boss wants hehe.. You want someone who works more days til' it violates his labor law ? or do you prefer somebody who has the temperament to withstand emergency crisis and sound technical know-how?

At least, I'm a bit satisfied this year compared to the last 2 years. I guess I was fairly judged this time. I hope those who were very negative and blunt on the appraisee during the session goes back and sleeps well. A word of advice: Sometimes you need to take a populist approach if you want to progress further on the corporate ladder. Make people like you man. You can't be too strict or too militia in your methods. Try and ask yourself who you are and why are you still where you are. Look around you. :) Peace my man hehe

Ah well, let's hope for a better year this year . Increment? what increment? that was a joke right ? hehe ..

Til all are one...

The Roots

You can fly as high as you want,
Be as great as you want,
Earn as much as you want,
Live as comfortable as you want,

But nothing beats the peace achieved on something so plain and so simple. The guiding light in my dark nights.. Amin.

Material Thangs

What defines happiness?



From what I'm seeing, its money. No questions asked. Money , money and more money. The experts say one of the most vital ways of increasing your wealth is to limit your spending and not to play 'keeping up with the jones' . In a nutshell , it means don't spend like you're Roman Abramovich if you don't have money / not enough money for it. Don't live a lifestyle that you find hard to cope or achieve. Don't live a lifestyle where everything is always not enough . Don't be governed by peer pressure. Just because your next door neighbor got a brand new ride , you need to have one too.

Simple things , gestures and notes just don't seem to be of much value nowadays. Hail all the rich guys during these times. I'm not happy that I'm not as rich but at the same time I'm also not happy that money determines my happiness. Confused ?

Imagine you have all the money in the world , you get to spend on anything you could ask for. Then what? Obviously in general you'll be happy , but are you really happy?

I'm happy if theres no war. No 'invisible line' that defines the rich and the poor. More room for love and care. More understanding and listening. No greed and selfishness. More love that is pure, so pure that it makes you inseparable and what's imperfect will look so perfect

Ahh such pacifist outlook on life has no place in the world I live in now. What can I do? Survive and adapt is the best option. Got to keep up with the demands of life. Perhaps in another life there could be a place for a pacifist like me :)

Insyaallah....

A little light of hope

'Idea Rawkstars in Progress'

Goodbye cruel world

Neh, I'm not committing suicide. On several crazy occasions , I do feel like getting a shotgun and blow my head up (only during the rarest most uncontrollable bouts of depression and anger). But fortunately, I'm a Muslim and killing yourself because you hate your life is a First Class ticket to hell baby. Don't even start about those Islamic suicide bombers, to me they're just mindless pawns to serve a very extreme Islamic doctrine.

That's the good thing about my religion, it has a simple message unlike what the world thinks about it : Be grounded. I saw this one Uztaz who was talking to a bunch of teenagers clad in heavy metal outfits, piercings in places I never imagined and speak with a heavy mat-salleh slang to it. It was on TV by the way. The cool thing about this Uztaz is that he was being very frank to these kids, he said " I know all of you might want to experiment things like drinking , piercings and partying and all , I understand that , all of you are young, but just remember the basic foundation of our religion and don't stray too far away, if you feel you are , just come back to the straight line once in a while. A simple prayer or alhamdullillah is a good thing to do. "

I was like, hey not bad, he's different, he's not too preachy of strict . Other Uztaz would just grab a cane and beat the hell out of these kids . He was simple. I guess simplicity is still the best policy.

Back to the thing I'd like to share. I hate to say it, I really do. But due to the demands of the world, I guess I have to chuck aside my dreams of becoming a copywriter. I wish I knew about this copy writing thing before I decided to pursue my IT Diploma and Degree last time. At least I would've had the joy of being a copywriter. I understand it's not a very glorious job like a Finance Manager or anything that has a lot of $$$ to it, but to those who are passionate about writing, its better than being stuck in a 9-5 cubicle with no room for creative exploration and just getting the fat paychecks with a dull face at the end of the month. You become a slave to your work and a slave to time. In my case, its a 7-7 shift with 70+ idiot boxes staring back at you. Its like babysitting man. One idiot box cries you have to attend to it. Even more worse right? hehe. Don't even think about promotions. You need to be a good method actor to win the hearts of the bosses and seniors.

Because I'm getting older now, turning 26 this month, I guess responsibilities have caught me. More responsibilities mean more $$$ needed to materialize goals and you cannot afford a change of careers and start from zero. I really want to try being a copywriter , I really do, but finances don't always allow me to fulfill that dream. I have a certain future that I'd like to be in, and I don't think I will have a good chance if I pursue this copywriter thing. I might lose other aspects of my life that I hold really close to my heart. It's a money business nowadays in life. No more love. No money no future.

I'm sad and at the same time holding on to this hope, that one day all my concerns will be addressed and I finally will be become a great copywriter someday , staying overseas and start a family with my sayang, with little mini-me running around in a junior Liverpool jersey kicking football in the yard of the house of my dreams.

Ooops, bubble pecah, I took your imagination somewhere huh? ..oh well, dare to dream ..


Happy New Year 2009 Everyone ! May all your dreams come true :)