The Skrtel Joke
I think they made jokes over this guy coz' he looks so damn tough.
Courtesy of liverpoolway.com forums:
They make a Martin Skrtel toilet paper, but it wont take s.hit from anybody.
Martin Skrtel always has s.ex on the first date. Always.
Martin Skrtel has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
Skrtel never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Skrtel”.
Martin Skrtel can p.iss into gale force winds.
Martin Skrtel is the ONLY survivor from the Big Bang!
Martin Skrtel was the cause of the big bang.
When Martin Skrtel has s.ex with men, it is not because he is g.ay, but because he has ran out of women.
Martin Skrtel uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Martin Skrtel only m.asturbates to pictures of Martin Skrtel.
Martin Skrtel was the first man to take a dump on the moon
Martin Skrtel CAN get breakfast in McDonalds after 10.30!
Martin Skrtel can kill two stones with one bird.
If you can see Martin Skrtel, he can see you. If you can't see Martin Skrtel you may be only seconds away from death.
Martin Skrtel does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Martin Skrtel goes killing.
Martin Skrtel has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Martin Skrtel ordered a Big Mac at KFC and gets it!
Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Martin Skrtel. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
If Martin Skrtel is late, time better slow the f.uck down.
There is no such thing as a l.esbian, there are just girls who have never met Martin Skrtel.
God said "Let there be light", Martin Skrtel said "Say please".
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Martin Skrtel allows to live.
I heard Superman wears "Martin Skrtel" pajamas...
Martin Skrtel once bit a photographer... he is now known as Peter Parker aka Spiderman
Martin Skrtel lost his virginity before his dad.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Skrtel says its beef, then it's bloody-well beef.
A lighthouse was used in Martin Skrtel's candle light dinner!
Martin Skrtel has had s.ex with everyones mum.
Once Martin Skrtel tested a pair of boot, he said he can't even put Nike on those boot, that's how Umbro was born!
Martin Skrtel never think twice... he doesn't even need to think once!
Martin Skrtel was the first entry in the doomsday book
Martin Skrtel does not catch diseases, he spreads em
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Martin Skrtel to die before they attack....which is NEVER
The Mohs Scale has had to be rescaled to accomodate the hardness of Skrtel..........
Martin Skrtel...Once won a Connect 4 game in 3 moves.
Skrtel can speak Braille
Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are *****roaches and Martin Skrtel
the bermuda triangle used to be the bermuda square, until martin skrtel slide tackled one of the corners off.
martel skrtel slide tackled the periodic table - he only believes in the element of surprise.
martin skrtel died 10 years ago, but the grim reaper still doesn't have the courage to go and tell him.
If you have five dollars and Martin Skrtel has five dollars, Martin Skrtel has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Martin Skrtel's computer. Martin Skrtel is always in control.
Apple pays Martin Skrtel 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Martin Skrtel can sneeze with his eyes open.
Martin Skrtel can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Martin Skrtel is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Martin Skrtel doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Martin Skrtel.
Martin Skrtel does not sleep. He waits.
Martin Skrtel is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Martin Skrtel is the reason why Wally is hiding.
When Martin Skrtel does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Martin Skrtel is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Martin Skrtel’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Martin Skrtel doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Martin Skrtel can slam a revolving door.
P/s: Don't worry Martin, we still respect you in LFC. Keep doing a good colossal job for us . YNWA.
I think they made jokes over this guy coz' he looks so damn tough.
Courtesy of liverpoolway.com forums:
They make a Martin Skrtel toilet paper, but it wont take s.hit from anybody.
Martin Skrtel always has s.ex on the first date. Always.
Martin Skrtel has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
Skrtel never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Skrtel”.
Martin Skrtel can p.iss into gale force winds.
Martin Skrtel is the ONLY survivor from the Big Bang!
Martin Skrtel was the cause of the big bang.
When Martin Skrtel has s.ex with men, it is not because he is g.ay, but because he has ran out of women.
Martin Skrtel uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Martin Skrtel only m.asturbates to pictures of Martin Skrtel.
Martin Skrtel was the first man to take a dump on the moon
Martin Skrtel CAN get breakfast in McDonalds after 10.30!
Martin Skrtel can kill two stones with one bird.
If you can see Martin Skrtel, he can see you. If you can't see Martin Skrtel you may be only seconds away from death.
Martin Skrtel does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Martin Skrtel goes killing.
Martin Skrtel has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Martin Skrtel ordered a Big Mac at KFC and gets it!
Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Martin Skrtel. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
If Martin Skrtel is late, time better slow the f.uck down.
There is no such thing as a l.esbian, there are just girls who have never met Martin Skrtel.
God said "Let there be light", Martin Skrtel said "Say please".
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Martin Skrtel allows to live.
I heard Superman wears "Martin Skrtel" pajamas...
Martin Skrtel once bit a photographer... he is now known as Peter Parker aka Spiderman
Martin Skrtel lost his virginity before his dad.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Skrtel says its beef, then it's bloody-well beef.
A lighthouse was used in Martin Skrtel's candle light dinner!
Martin Skrtel has had s.ex with everyones mum.
Once Martin Skrtel tested a pair of boot, he said he can't even put Nike on those boot, that's how Umbro was born!
Martin Skrtel never think twice... he doesn't even need to think once!
Martin Skrtel was the first entry in the doomsday book
Martin Skrtel does not catch diseases, he spreads em
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Martin Skrtel to die before they attack....which is NEVER
The Mohs Scale has had to be rescaled to accomodate the hardness of Skrtel..........
Martin Skrtel...Once won a Connect 4 game in 3 moves.
Skrtel can speak Braille
Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are *****roaches and Martin Skrtel
the bermuda triangle used to be the bermuda square, until martin skrtel slide tackled one of the corners off.
martel skrtel slide tackled the periodic table - he only believes in the element of surprise.
martin skrtel died 10 years ago, but the grim reaper still doesn't have the courage to go and tell him.
If you have five dollars and Martin Skrtel has five dollars, Martin Skrtel has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Martin Skrtel's computer. Martin Skrtel is always in control.
Apple pays Martin Skrtel 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Martin Skrtel can sneeze with his eyes open.
Martin Skrtel can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Martin Skrtel is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Martin Skrtel doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Martin Skrtel.
Martin Skrtel does not sleep. He waits.
Martin Skrtel is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Martin Skrtel is the reason why Wally is hiding.
When Martin Skrtel does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Martin Skrtel is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Martin Skrtel’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Martin Skrtel doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Martin Skrtel can slam a revolving door.
P/s: Don't worry Martin, we still respect you in LFC. Keep doing a good colossal job for us . YNWA.
omg I have no idea who this Skrtel guy is, but man this is too funny! u made my day azryl!
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha! Funny shit my man!
ReplyDelete