My Reflection
picture courtesy of : http://www.photomania.net/shadows
Ever felt lost in your life ? Ever experienced the bitterness of pain and the damning feeling of guilt over a mistake ? Ever come across what you had longed for and when you got it , you failed to live up to expectations ?
Feeling neither in the crossroads nor anywhere , just lost . What have been achieved and learned all these years ? What if there is no such thing as 'greatness' or ' success' after all ? Is it possible that a wrong direction has been taken ?
Why are you here ?
Why do you exist ? for what purpose ?
They say we all came to this world like a piece of white cloth , and life's experiences are the colors that gives us our patterns . What have you become ?
What we are today , to a certain extent , are the result of our upbringing . I personally wished I had a better way to channel my anger and my talents . Instead , the mind overcomes what your heart tells you to do . You began to doubt . The mind most of the time does not tell you what to do . It only gives you information and raises more questions . But the heart pushes you to do what you instinctively feel what's right.
When there's little coordination between the mind and the heart , that's when you make mistakes . Your heart urges you to do something , but when you let your mind decide , you start to doubt whether you should or should not do it . I think I suffer from that . Often times, I let my heart decide , but when there are 1001 'what ifs' inside your head , you get confused during the decision making process .
I have been making countless little mistakes and paid the price dearly. Little by little the respect is lost , everyone starts to be less generous when it comes to giving praise and encouragement . Even from people close to you . Running away from all the troubles is just not the best solution , only a temporary solitude . I think this face and heart had taken a lot of beating and humiliation. Has that made me stronger ? I don't feel strong .
What good are you if people don't believe in you anymore ? I'm sinking into the black puddle , slowly . You have many aspirations , so many targets and goals you want to achieve . Yet , you are trapped . I feel that I do not have the grip on my reality as it used to be. I know I'm better than what I am today. What happened ? where was the focus and drive ? I used to be in control of my surroundings . Has mental fatigue been the cause ?
I took a jab to relieve my back pains and some medicine to cure this high fever of mine. Have I been on overdrive ? Not only the body is weak , the mind has been weaker . Need to bounce back from this mediocrity . Need to reclaim that individual spark that was so vibrant in the past. Unlike others , I realized one good lesson : if you want something to work , do it yourself , don't rely on others .
But now I'm lost . I need to lead my life towards the light . A transformation should take place . Will it be enough ?
Alone again as before . I'm reflecting on life's experiences like a bunch of TV monitors placed in front of me . Is it too late for a change ? Can you save the day ? hero ?
picture courtesy of : http://www.photomania.net/shadows
Ever felt lost in your life ? Ever experienced the bitterness of pain and the damning feeling of guilt over a mistake ? Ever come across what you had longed for and when you got it , you failed to live up to expectations ?
Feeling neither in the crossroads nor anywhere , just lost . What have been achieved and learned all these years ? What if there is no such thing as 'greatness' or ' success' after all ? Is it possible that a wrong direction has been taken ?
Why are you here ?
Why do you exist ? for what purpose ?
They say we all came to this world like a piece of white cloth , and life's experiences are the colors that gives us our patterns . What have you become ?
What we are today , to a certain extent , are the result of our upbringing . I personally wished I had a better way to channel my anger and my talents . Instead , the mind overcomes what your heart tells you to do . You began to doubt . The mind most of the time does not tell you what to do . It only gives you information and raises more questions . But the heart pushes you to do what you instinctively feel what's right.
When there's little coordination between the mind and the heart , that's when you make mistakes . Your heart urges you to do something , but when you let your mind decide , you start to doubt whether you should or should not do it . I think I suffer from that . Often times, I let my heart decide , but when there are 1001 'what ifs' inside your head , you get confused during the decision making process .
I have been making countless little mistakes and paid the price dearly. Little by little the respect is lost , everyone starts to be less generous when it comes to giving praise and encouragement . Even from people close to you . Running away from all the troubles is just not the best solution , only a temporary solitude . I think this face and heart had taken a lot of beating and humiliation. Has that made me stronger ? I don't feel strong .
What good are you if people don't believe in you anymore ? I'm sinking into the black puddle , slowly . You have many aspirations , so many targets and goals you want to achieve . Yet , you are trapped . I feel that I do not have the grip on my reality as it used to be. I know I'm better than what I am today. What happened ? where was the focus and drive ? I used to be in control of my surroundings . Has mental fatigue been the cause ?
I took a jab to relieve my back pains and some medicine to cure this high fever of mine. Have I been on overdrive ? Not only the body is weak , the mind has been weaker . Need to bounce back from this mediocrity . Need to reclaim that individual spark that was so vibrant in the past. Unlike others , I realized one good lesson : if you want something to work , do it yourself , don't rely on others .
But now I'm lost . I need to lead my life towards the light . A transformation should take place . Will it be enough ?
Alone again as before . I'm reflecting on life's experiences like a bunch of TV monitors placed in front of me . Is it too late for a change ? Can you save the day ? hero ?
