Lebanon

Hmm.. I've been looking at troubling news coming from Lebanon . Israelis seem to attack everyone without any restrictions right now don't they ? You know , the way I see it right .. is that the U.S is the clueless parent to the very naughty Israel . Everyone including the UN have been telling U.S how naughty Israel is yet U.S can't see it . Whenever U.S gives Israel a warning .. he stops for while , and then does it again .. usik-usik country lain balik . And what I think is kinda shitty is that 4 UN peacekeepers stationed in Lebanon were killed ! we're talking bout the UN here .. how big of a crime is that ?? yet all we do now is hold sleep-inducing peace talks , summits , conferences while Lebanon is still currently under attack .

Can't we do something else besides holding a rally like what Khairy Jamaludin did the other day ? As if they'd care . What good is the UN if they can't bring peace ? I dunno man , we don't need all these in this world . You can't bomb someone's house or mosque just because you 'suspect' there are terrorists there . What , you're gonna bomb first and then say "oops .. no one here , sorry :P " then move on to the next target ? that's really low man ...

Which is the Chosen One ?

I haven't had the time update lately . Well I'm currently on a dilemma . Here's the deal : I'm getting my first brand new car on my own , you know after you've work so hard .. you wanna reward yourself and get a car you can call it your own you know, from your own sweat . But somehow I'm having difficulties choosing which one .

I've realised that choosing a car is like choosing yourself a future wife :P

(some pictures below was taken from PaulTan.org and Yahoo! go check out PaulTan's blog . its a cool place to read about cars )

Candidate #1 - Proton Satria Neo
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'Ahhhhh.....' followed by a long sigh . That was my reaction when I first saw it . Pretty , nice to look at and fun to be with . You're guaranteed to have a good time . Runs on a 1.6 Campro engine and comes with standard 16" rims (yummy) . But it's a 2-door hatchback and the roof is slightly lower than the rest , something a 'flag pole' like me would find a bit crampy and plus , it can't carry many passengers ..so it has its limitations . Like one of those pretty ladies who looks great but can't cook , do the laundry or cleans up the house you know :P and someone the parents do not agree on .. hmm ...damn she looks fineee ..but is she for long term ? available in less than a week ...

Candidate #2 - Perodua MyVi
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Ok this one right here , I see her as one of those your parents have set up for you . You know , like an arranged marriage , someone your parents would definitely agree . Runs on a 1.3 DVVT engine like my current Kembara , said to have good fuel consumption and very spacious . But looks - wise , its ok only la . Although its nice overall , but your heart 's not really into it you know ...hmmm where's the connection ? I can't sense it yet and oh , you have to wait for her for 1 or 2 months :P lamanya ..

Candidate #3 - Proton Gen 2
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One of those mysterious looking ones you know , looks impressive , can do more things compared to Candidate #1 and also runs on 1.6 Campro engine but doesn't come with 16"s la . You can have fun , at the same time she's a decent cook , cleans the house etc.. But one thing is that you've been hearing stories like the many problems related to it . So you don't know if she's reliable or not . Well Proton claims they have rectified the flaws which were evident in the first batches . hmmm this is an option ... also available in a week ...

Notice that its all in black ? hehe well that's because its my choice of colour to have for my car . I've always wanted a black ride .. it calls to me hehe . And oh notice that they're all locals ? simply because of its affordability . Awek-awek Jepun ( Toyota , Honda etc..) Korea ( Hyundai etc..) or Perancis ( Peugeot etc.. ) semua out of my range laa ...

Sigh the dillemma .. will 'test drive' all of it to find out ;P ......

Ada 'ong' ka ini nombor ?

:)

My name is ! .. my name is .. !

Your First Name of: Azrael

-Although the name Azrael creates an interest in the deeper aspects of life, we emphasize that it causes an emotional intensity that is hard to control.

-This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the heart, lungs, bronchial area, and nervous system.

-Your first name of Azrael has given you a clever, deep mind and the talent to excel in highly inspirational lines of endeavour as a dramatist, musician, writer, or artist.

-You can be lifted by beauty in all forms and you are at the most creative when inspired.

-Your expressive, affectionate nature responds very quickly through your feelings, but you must guard against being possessive and jealous.

-You feel and sense much that you do not fully understand and cannot express.

-Your delight in mystery could draw you into occult studies or religions.

-Also means 'Angel of Death' in biblical books .

thanx to Mr. Armand for the reference . Ahh.. things you do when you're bored and killing time before you're off to work hehe..

www.kabalarians.com

Forza Azzurri !

Yep , Italy won the 2006 World Cup . They were the better team , defensive-wise last night . Cannavaro should've been my Man of the Match . He was excellent at the back . France were frightening coming forward at times .. they were very quick .. to do that for 120minutes . Damn , don't these guys have lungs ? hehe .

So the 'Footbalitis' epidemic has finally subsided . Peolple would get back to their 'normal' lives now . Getting adequate sleep to work , surrendering their remote control to someone else hehe . Football jersey prices will decrease finally . Time to get that Argentina & Italy jersey I wanted .

Hmm , what's to look forward to after this ? EPL baby ! The next few months will be interesting . Clubs will start getting new players . Hope Liverpool get a few wingers ( Joaquin ? Giuly ? anyone ?? ) and another striker .

I realised me and the fellas never had a 'Hari Keluarga' session at my place during the World Cup season . Those PS2 controllers looked dusty .. sigh the demands of work :) . Haven't visited 'SS15' in a while .. I wonder if the PCs are still ok .. Kinda in the mood to kill with an AK-47 and plant a bomb ..or crawl inside a ventilation tunnel and rescue hostages .. hmm where my commandoes at ? hehe ..

When life decides to balance things up

Have you ever had a really bad day where everything is wrong and the more you try to fix it , it gets worse ? A day where everything is a critical mistake and you have people cornering you , scolding you like nobody's business ?

At the end of the day , you felt so alone , unable to react to it .. feeling so helpless . You don't know who is willing to help you or lend you support .

Well I'm experiencing that . I'm feeling so empty at the moment . I feel like I've been put on the spot in the middle of a huge desert with firing squads surrounding me . No one hears you , no one knows , no one understands . You're struggling to find that guidance to get you out of it . Yet you're alone .

What a bad day .. what a bad day .. I'm so alone . Just felt like saying sorry to everyone .

Have you ever had a dream .. then suddenly you end up crying in your sleep ? I'm waking up with tears in my eyes .. real tears ! these past few days . I can't remember when was the last time I cried ... 5 , 6 years ago ?

I dunno .. I'm lost for words .. I hate to be like this ..

The last thing I wanna be is being overdramatic .. its not me .. THIS is not me ...

I'm so alone .. so invisible .. so hollow

A Man's Worth

*puts on his emo cap on* .. ok here I am again . This is gonna sound a bit darker than previous ones . Once in a while , like a garbage bin .. you need to throw the trash out of the bin when its full . Don't worry , this is just a routine detox procedure that I do once in a while when theres too many things goin on this mind . Need to clear things up a little bit you know , my way . I do not expect anyone to understand .

Are you worth anything if :

1) You don't get the respect you deserve as a human being ?
2) People always misunderstood you , despite your best efforts to prove them otherwise ?
3) You keep confusing people you care about , with questions marks all over you ?
4) You are kept 'hidden' and 'invisible' from the outside world , as if you never existed ?
5) You get ditched like dirt when you're no longer needed ?

and many more....

So , a man is worth what under those circumstances ?

We always hear the heavy emotional burden related to the opposite sex . Many have neglected the experiences a man would have . The world expects us to be the alpha male - strong , solid & calm . Able to swallow everything in and forget about it . The reality is , it can't always be like that . Sometimes you can swallow everything , sometimes you just can't . Many do not realise that it can also be the hardest thing a guy could actually do . The world expects us to be strong when faced with depression , problems , rejection , abuse and many others at ALL times .

Many seem to forget that a man is also born with a face and a heart , he is not built from rocks . We do feel , we do have pride . I have to say it is a bit unfair to blame things on us all the time . Sure , we are cursed with this thing called 'ego' , but everyone has that , even amongst the opposite sex . Being a man can be tough at times . The world expects you to just accept what's coming your way head on and you do not have the rights to complain about it , unlike the prestige given to the opposite sex .

We do feel sad , angry , happy etc... but the world expects us to combine all those expressions into one single face . We can't cry if we're sad , we mustn't look angry when pissed or smile when we're happy . I have lost the ability to do all those at the moment , even though I feel those sensations . No wonder us guys have developed our own ways of getting over our sadness , hurt , problems ... like fixing the car , taking a quiet drive on a highway (i do that) , writing or simply by just having some quiet alone time at home , just lying down sleeping .

We do not want the world to sympathise , just a little bit of understanding .

*takes off his emo cap* .. pheww .. now my head's slightly lighter :)

time to take that quiet drive to work now ...