Superhero
Have you ever experience at a point of your life where your attention is required from every direction ? so constant that you feel it can tear you up ?
I do .
Well , what I'm trying to write here is not exactly to let out how frustrated I am with the whole world yada-yada .. the world is not fair la ..cruel la .. all that jazz ... this is just a way for me to take a breather from all the 'rush' around me and reflect on things . Carry on reading if you are interested to know , otherwise don't :) .
I think I live a superhero lifestyle ... without the adulation and praise like you see in the movies and comics .. and no panties thrown at me and all that :) Why ? simply because I have to be at a lot places with very limited time . So limited that I have to plan when I get to see my loved one , spend time with my family , hangout with my buddies for some teh tarik panas and also some alone time for myself . The demands of work and 'extra work' to show how harworking you are has taken up most of those time slots .
And there are also the many financial commitments that needs attention at the end of the month . You work , get that lovely paycheck with a glow on your face . But , you have to let go some of that to pay the bills . Not only you work to pay the bills but you also spend less time with your dear ones . Those you care and love . I look forward to days when I'm off to see them , spend time with them ... its a special feeling to have . Yet , I can't complain .
I'm happy working where I am right now , it pays well and all ... just that I wish I could get more time for my personal life . Maybe it takes a little sacrifice for that future you hoped for kinda thing you know ... I know all this is for my future . I kinda see the bigger picture at times ... its like building a house . Setting up the foundations and laying down the bricks is a daunting task in the beginning . But once those foundations are strong enough , all you need to do later will be a breeze . How come ? well you don't have to worry whether it would fall or not ..when you have a strong foundation , its hard to fall down . Unless you bring a demolisher and demolish it la hehe ..
In a way , these 'sacrifices' that I have to make kinda clashes with one my principals in life : Have a balanced life and be healthy .
I'm happy that there are those who understands and stood behind me to support . I do not know what lies ahead , nor do I know how long all this will last . I'm still trying my best to find that balance . I'm only 23 man , but in a way its good that I see the big picture early rather when I turn 30++ coz theres still room to correct and learn your mistakes .
It saddens me when I'm unable to be there when my loved ones needed me the most . I wish I could be there all the time , yet I can't . I'd lose my job . No job , no money = no future .
However , like previous experiences have taught me : theres light at the end of the dark tunnel . Maybe this is temporary . Can you imagine if I'm married right now ? that'll be crazy . I now understand how my parents think . A lot of things to think about .
I envy at those rich kids who couldn't seem to care less about their future . All they know is that they're Daddy is rich and they can get anything they want . Little did they know that wealth is temporary . I wish I have their wealth for me to further my Masters , open up a business , invest in real estate etc.. the money these rich kids spent on partying , if you accumulate it in a year , can settle my Masters man .
I wish they know that life is not all about partying at the happening nightspots and all that .. its more than that . You can't always rely on your other rich Uncles to hook you up with a job . You go overseas to study and bring back a cert ..... not to fail and bring back a mat salleh wife :P
Well , enough of that . Here's hoping that my loved ones know that despite my absence , they hold a very special place inside me and I love them .
Kinda emo pulak don't you think ? hehe . Oh well , I can't be macho all the time .. it's hard enough that I can't cry .. so I write la :P .
Peace .
